Oh, the Cleverness of me!

Oh, the cleverness of me!

194,534 notes

Rest in Peace, Robin Williams.
July 21st, 1951 - August 11th, 2014

Thank you for bringing joy into my childhood and life with your voice and acting. Thank you for your contagious jokes, your wacky impersonations, and amazing acting. Thank you for making my childhood experience better, and thank you for bringing joy to those even though you battled with your own joy. If only you could have known how much you’ve impacted people. Your life work will live on, and you will never be forgotten. I know I won’t forget you. Thank you for helping me whenever I felt sad and having a film for every mood. Gone, but never forgotten.

(Source: disneyyandmore, via daceymormonts)

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As if the last thing I need in my life is to fall hard for a guy I just met but I’m not going to stop myself from the inevitable. This adventure might just be a little bit more than I’m ready for but he’s the sweetest thing and I don’t think he’s worth passing up because his life is a little crazier than mine. We all have problems and warts, we all make mistakes and have regrets. I think it’s what happens afterwards that builds your character and I’m will to fight with him so he can be happy. 

Read more …

279,695 notes

(A gay couple has just met up in the restaurant and kissed each other upon arrival. Another customer has seen this and is obviously angry.)
Angry Customer:
“Damn f**s.”
Gay Man:
“Excuse me?”
Angry Customer:
“You heard me, you little s***. Let’s not make this into some little pride protest, okay? I have to accept that you’re going to live your lifestyle, and you have to accept that I’ve got freedom of speech.”
Gay Man:
*quietly* “Is it too much to ask for a little human decency?”
Angry Customer:
“Human? Listen up, what you’re doing is not human. I think I have the right to determine what I think is human.”
(The manager shows up. He’s a quiet Italian man who I assume is conservative due to the Christian imagery and portrait of Reagan he keeps around the restaurant.)
Angry Customer:
*to the owner* “Hey, can you move either them or us to another table?”
(Instead of responding to the angry customer, the owner instead speaks to his wife.)
Owner:
“I’m sorry ma’am, but we have a strict ‘no pets’ policy in my restaurant.”
Wife:
“Uh, I, uh, what? I don’t have a—”
Owner:
“Well, according to your talking monkey over here, I can determine who’s a human and who’s not. You bring an animal into my restaurant; I gotta assume it’s your pet.”
(The angry customer storms out. When I left, the owner was giving his description, and copies of security camera footage, to the biggest crowd of police I’ve seen. Apparently it’s a bad idea to not pay your bill at a restaurant that gives free coffee to cops.)

90 notes

missymalone90:

Natürlich darf auch @lovelybooks nicht in meinem Filofax fehlen! #filofax #filofaxing #filofaxlove #filofaxaddict #beautyrellasfilofaxerei

missymalone90:

Natürlich darf auch @lovelybooks nicht in meinem Filofax fehlen! #filofax #filofaxing #filofaxlove #filofaxaddict #beautyrellasfilofaxerei

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Driving Out Of My Work Parking Lot

The Guy Who is Not My Boyfriend Driving Behind Me:
OOOOOOhhhhhh! Nice Ass!!
Me:
Shut up! We are at work!
The Guy Who is Not My Boyfriend Driving Behind Me:
I believe we just left. I hope I see that ass tomorrow! "honk honk" OOOOOOhhhhh girl!!!! MMMMMmmhhhh girl, turn that ass, just how I like it. You better stop at that red light. Oh right there.
Me:
Tom. Go home. Go to bed. You have worked too hard this week.
Tom, not my boyfriend:
Did you say too hard?
Me:
BYYYYYEEEEEEE!!! I'll see YOUR ASS tomorrow
Tom:
(fit of laughter)

Filed under this is my life why me you're too hot stop now fuck

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Trying to get a guy to match with you so you can look cute together is so fucking hard. 

"Here is the color of my dress"

"So I’m going to get a bow tie in this color"

"That’s nice but that’s the opposite of what I’m looking for…"